He's Gone What About Mark?
by rentswwriter
Summary: What happens when Roger leaves for Santa Fe. The story of the rocker's best friend and all he goes through from the time Roger leaves until the time he comes back. This is a Mark/OC story. Hope you enjoy :
1. What to Do?

Mark couldn't believe that Roger had left. He knew his friend loved Mimi, he could see it. He just wished Roger would get over his jealous feelings and tell Mimi how he really felt about her, but he knew his friend wouldn't do that. Roger had too much pain in his heart from April, and Mark knew what that pain was like. It seemed to the group of bohemian artists that Mark was the most put together of the group, especially with the way he helped Roger after April's death. But in truth it wasn't that way at all. Mark was barely keeping it together. If it wasn't for his camera he wouldn't have be able to. Roger leaving NYC for Santé Fe was the last straw. He couldn't do it anymore. After Mimi left with Benny to get help, Mark slowly walked back up the stairs to the loft. He shut the door behind him, locked it and slide down it to the floor. He sat there for a little while thinking about the scene that had just played out in front of him. Finally, the tears came. Roger had left and the pain came flooding to Mark, all the losses he had endured had been pushed back so that he could help his friend who needed him. He soon lay down on his side on the floor and curled up. It soon began to be difficult to see out of his glasses so he took them off and threw them across the room. Sleep soon fell over him as his body and mind were so weary.

He awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. He stretched a little and discovered how stiff he was. He wondered to himself how long he had been laying there. Finally the answer machine picked up with the familiar "SPPPPPPEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKK" that was his and Roger's voices.

"Mark, we know you're there. Please throw down the key. Mark slowly shuffles his feet and grabs the key off the counter and watches as he tosses it down to Collins, who was waiting with Maureen and Joanne below. He then left walked to the couch and laid down leaving the door to the balcony open.

A few seconds later Collins comes busting in the door with the two girls behind him. "BRRR! Mark its cold in here." Joanne goes and closes the door while stating this. Collins turns on the hot pad and gets a pot of water heating, so that he could make Mark some tea. Maureen is following Joanne around pouting, obviously trying to make up to her for something. But Mark doesn't move just lays there. He doesn't even say anything to Collins or anything nothing. He starts to shiver after a few minutes, so Collins grabs a blanket from Mark's room and lays it over him.

He goes back to the kitchen and whispers "Poor Mark, he's had to stay strong to help Roger for so long."

Joanne and Maureen nod. "It's about time he broke; I just hate seeing him like this, a shell of a good man." Collins continues as he pours the hot water into the mug to make Mark a cup of tea.

"Come on Mark, sit up." Collins said while shaking his friend. Mark hesitantly sat up so that Collins could sit next to him. He wrapped the blanket around him, pulled his knees up, and laid his head on top of his knees.

Collins hated seeing Mark like this. It tore him up inside, for he knew how much pain his friend had been holding on to over the last few years. Collins placed his hand on Mark's shoulder and rubbed his back. "Its okay, Mark. He'll come back."  
With the comforting motion of Collins' hand, Mark completely looses it. He ends up laying his head in Collins' lap and sobbing again.


	2. Should I?

**I don't own Rent. This is the start of what happens right after Roger heads to Santa Fe. Enjoy and please leave comments :) YAY**

* * *

When Mark woke up everything was blurry. He blinked a few times to try and figure where his glasses were. Finally he finds them and puts them on. Everything became clearer after that. He glanced around and realized he was in his bed, but still had the same clothes on. He thought to himself that Collins or one of the girls had put him here. So he got up slowly stretching. He opened his door slowly not knowing if Collins or the girls had stuck around last night. Sure enough Collins was passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of Stoli not far from Collin's hand which was hanging over the side of the couch. Mark then looked up and realized that Joanne was in the kitchen making some tea. "Hey thanks." He said walking over to her whispering so as to not wake up his sleeping friend. Joanne smiled sweetly at him. "No problem, Mark. You always take care of all of us. It was time someone helped you out. You can't carry the weight of our problems on your shoulders all the time." Mark slowly nodded "I know, it's just so hard. I mean Collins always had school and attempting to teach students. Roger had his music and whatever girl he was in love with, and Benny, well Benny had us and then he found Alison. And all I've had was my camera and them, my friends since forever. Now it feels like I've got nothing. Even though I have my camera I'm almost afraid to pick it up for Roger told me before he left for Santa Fe that I use it to hide from the world. I'm thinking perhaps he's right. On the other hand I'm going to need some money to keep up the apartment now that Roger is gone. So maybe I'll see if Buzzline still has that opening, but I don't know that's selling out and we were all against that before. But everyone is just about gone now so it wouldn't make any difference anyway. "Mark ranted for a few minutes before sitting in a chair and putting his head in his hands. He sat there for a few minutes until Joanne came over to him with a cup of hot tea and placed her hand on Mark's shoulder. "Mark for once in your life you need to do what makes you happy. If that's joining Buzzline then so be it. If not, you'll find out what. Ok?" Mark nodded. "I'm going to go catch some sleep now. Don't think about it too much." With that Joanne headed to where Maureen's old room use to be and disappeared inside.


	3. What Happened?

**I don't own Rent. Please let me know what you think :)**

**VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!**

* * *

After Joanne disappeared into the room Mark stood up and went to his room and grabbed his camera. As much as he knew what Roger had said was true he just couldn't push the habit of hiding behind the camera away. It was mostly because he knew that when it was all said and done he would be the last one standing. He quickly scribbled a note and left it on the counter just in case Collins or one of the girls got up. He then grabbed his jacket and slowly wrapped his blue and white scarf around his neck, grabbed his keys off of the counter and headed out of the loft.

For a while Mark just walked, not really filming or doing much of anything. Finally he was near Tompkins Square Park, so he decided to sit on one of the benches. He held his camera in his hands, and watched the various people walking past. He watches as a group of 19 year olds comes past. There were 2 girls and 2 guys in the group. The girls would mess up the guys' hair and then the guys would chase the girls. It went back and forth. Mark smiled as he watched the group as it remind him when he first moved to the city with Roger, Collins, Maureen, and Benny.

"_AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! MARK! I'MGOING TO KILL YOU!" Yelled an angry Maureen. She had snow in her hair that was slowly melting. _

"_OH CRAP!" Mark said as he ran past Roger, Collins and Benny, who was laughing hysterically at the two of them, was trying to get away from Maureen. _

"_RUN MARK! RUN!" Roger said laughing as Maureen stopped to make a large snowball._

Mark smiled at the memory from a different time. That was from the first winter the friends had spent at the loft. A lot had changed since then, so much in fact that Mark was actually considering "selling out" Something that he never would have even thought about back then. In fact back then they were all about the friendship and the art and the Love. What went wrong? He wondered to himself while he headed back to the loft.


	4. Memories

**I don't own Rent. Please tell me what you think :)**

**525,600 Minutes How Do You Measure A Year  
**

* * *

Mark passed the Life Café on his way back to the loft and paused as he glanced at the customers in the window. It reminded him of another night, not to long ago, the night of Maureen's protest.

It seemed to him; even he had changed from that night, when the bohemians all proclaimed with loud joyous voices on the tables of the small café. VIVA LA VIE BOHEME! He had no idea then, that in due time the small group of friends would no longer be as tight and close as they once were. As he walked away and towards the loft with a loud sigh it seemed to him that his decision had been made.

As much as he hated "selling out" he knew that without Roger performing gigs at local clubs, that he would need the money to pay the rent. At least long enough until Roger decided to return and to keep Benny off his back for a little bit, even though Benny was coming back around. And so with that Mark had made his decision to stay with Buzzline, he would call Alexi when he reached the loft.

When he reached the loft Collins was up rummaging in the refrigerator. When he heard the door open he looked up at Mark.

"Man, Mark don't you guys have any food?"  
"No that would require money. Which last time I check none of us have any." Mark said as he went to grab the phone.  
"Anyone call?" He asked as Collins went back to digging in the fridge.  
"Yea your mom. She left a message. She thought you were screening again and wanted to see how everyone was doing." Collins responded  
"Ok. "With that Mark took the phone and went to his room in the loft.


	5. Selling Out

**I don't own Rent. Enjoy the Story. Let me know what you think :)**

**Cause I'd Die Without You  
**

* * *

Mark shut his door, sat on the bed, and dialed Alexi's number at Buzzline.

"Hi this is Mark Cohen, is Alexi there?"  
"She's in a meeting right now. May I take a message?"  
"I was just letting her know I'll be able to start as soon as she needs me to."  
"What was your name again?"  
"Mark Cohen"  
"Ah yes Mr. Cohen. She has you starting Monday at 4pm."  
"Ok thanks I'll be there."

With that he hung up the phone, and threw it across the room. It landed with a thud but didn't break or anything. He then curled into a fetal position on the bed and cried.

Collins had heard the thud and came to see what was up. He knocked on the door.

"Mark, you ok?" He questioned through the door.

When Mark didn't answer, Collins slowly pushed open the door to the filmmaker's room. He looked down and saw the phone on the floor then looked up at the bed where Mark lay curled in a ball crying.

"You sold-out didn't you?" Collins asked as he approached the bed.

Mark slowly nodded and curled tighter into his ball.

"You did what you had to do. If Roger hadn't left you wouldn't have to. But you'll be fine. Even though you sold-out you are still doing something you love."

Mark sat up and pulled his knees up. "I guess you're right, but it still doesn't feel right. I feel like I've done the worst thing I could possible do."

Collins put a comforting hand on Mark's shoulder. "Mark, you'll be fine. You can still work on your film, and hang with everyone." He said with a smile. "Plus maybe you'll meet a girl." Collins said with a wink.

Mark smiled back. "I doubt it on that last part. I haven't met a girl since Maureen."

"Well maybe that's majority of your problem, Cohen. You need to get over Maureen and find you a girl." Collins said with a big grin on his face. "You know tell her about your film, and No Day But Today."

"Yea right, no girl wants to date me." Mark said as he slid off the bed, picked up the phone and went out into the living room.

"You never know Mark. You just might not have found the right one yet." Collins said as he followed him.

"Man, I'm hungry. Let's go to the Life." Mark said suddenly in an attempt to change the subject.

"Alright." Collins said to Mark then proceeded to yell for the girls. "HEY JOANNE, MAUREEN WE'RE GOING TO LIFE. WANT TO COME?"

Almost as soon as he said it the girls came out of Maureen's room. "Sure I could use a bite to eat and some drinks." Joanne said as they joined Mark and Collins in the kitchen.


	6. A New Bohemian Possibly

**I don't own Rent. I hope you like my story if not please leave tips on how I can improve. Any feedback is welcome :)**

TO DAYS OF INSPIRATION 

* * *

It was Monday morning and Mark was up making himself a cup of hot tea before heading off to Buzzline for his first day. Maureen and Joanne were asleep in Maureen's old room, and Collins was asleep on the couch. All three had decided to stay for a little while to make sure Mark was ok, but he knew eventually they would return to their regular schedules. Mark was nervous as he prepared himself to go to Buzzline. He slowly wrapped his blue and white scarf around his neck and took his bike down the stairs as he braced himself against the cold and the new circumstances that were coming.

He slowly walked to where Alexi told him to meet her nervous as all hell. She quickly explained where everything in the office was and what he would be doing. For the time being he had nothing to be done so he headed to the break area to make some hot tea. Hot tea was one of the few things that actually could keep Mark from not being nervous especially as he was without his camera as he left it at the loft for his first day until he could figure out how things were ran. As Mark walked he was looking at the ground thinking about what he had gotten himself into. He felt so out of place here. All of a sudden he accidentally bumped into someone and realized they had dropped their papers they must have had in their hands. He stooped down to pick them up, and began to stutter out an apology "I…I…I'm so so so sorry."  
"Don't worry about it." A female's voice answered

Mark looked up into the beautiful blue eyes of a female who was around the same age as him. "I wasn't paying attention. It's my fault." She said as she scooped up some of the papers. Mark handed her the stack he had. "I'm Sam." She said with a sweet smile. "Mark, I'm Mark." Mark managed to stay. "Nice to meet you, Mark." Sam says as she puts her hand out to shake his hand. He shakes her hand, and they both stand up. "Nice to meet you as well, Sam." Mark said.

"You must be new here. I haven't seen you here before and I've been here a couple months." Sam said as she started walking to the break room as well.  
"Yea I just started. Today's my first day in fact." Mark stated as he followed her to the break room.

"That's cool. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you don't look like you fit in with the whole Buzzline's sleazy image. "Sam said

Mark laughed "That's probably because I don't. I'm only doing this because my best friend left town for a while and I need some kind of job to pay the rent until he returns. That is if he returns. There is no telling with Roger. I actually feel as though I'm selling out by working here. And if you don't mind my saying you don't seem like you fit in either." Mark said with a smile.

Sam's blue eyes sparkled. "I don't, but I just moved to the city a few months ago and just grabbed the first job I could find. I'm just glad my rent isn't too bad. Though of course my mom isn't too happy that I'm not in the best part of town, but I'm a big girl and can handle myself. Plus, I live where all the artists live so I fit in there. Unlike here." Sam said as looked around the office in disgust.

"Wait a minute where do you live? If you don't mind me asking." Mark said.

"Um, this place the locals call Alphabet City. I live over on Avenue C."She said with a curious look on her face.  
"Oh wow… You live in my neighborhood." Mark said with a smile

"Really?" Sam said

"Yep I live on Avenue B, in this loft. I live there with my friends." Mark said.

"No way that's so cool. I don't really have any friends that live here. As I haven't had time to actually go out not since I started unpacking and working here. Plus I don't know where any good places are to eat or anything like that so I usually stay at home and cook myself something."

"I see. Well how about I show you the town a bit or at least Alphabet City. I 'm suppose to meet my friends at the Life Café after work to grab a bite and talk about my first day at Buzzline. Collins will trip when he sees you." Mark said with a smile.

"Why is that?"

"Because he was just messing with me the other day about finding a girl, so he will trip when I walk into the Life Café with you." Mark said laughing.

"Oh ok. By the way where is the Life Café?"

"Over on the corner of Avenue B. So what time do you get off from here?"

"About 5pm, and what about you?"

"Same time. I'm supposed to meet my friends there about 5:30 because that gives me enough time to get there. So do you want to come with me?" Mark asked her.

"Yea sure. Can't wait" She said with a smile. Sam then looked at the clock on the wall. "Oops got to go. Um, How about I meet you in here about 5pm." She said

"Ok. See you then." Mark said smiling.

And with that Sam was gone, and Mark was back to being by himself, so he started to make his tea again.


	7. Sam

**I don't own Rent. This is a short chapter. Next one will be longer. **

**One Song Glory One Song Before I Go Glory  
**

* * *

Sam couldn't believe it. She had been living in New York for a few months now and hadn't met anyone interesting. Sure there were her co-workers, however all of them were older than she was so as a result she usually spent most of her time at Buzzline, or her apartment except for when she went grocery shopping, and she only did that once a week. She had never imagined she would meet someone. He seemed nice to and she couldn't wait to go with him and meet up with his friends. It would be nice to know someone in this city. She only had one problem, what was she going to wear? She had to figure out something as they were meeting as soon as work got out. She thought about it for a little bit and decided she would just go buy something at lunch from one of the near by stores. She had a lot of extra money saved up as she hadn't gone out once since she moved to the city.

Finally after what seemed like forever, as the morning went very slowly, it was lunch time. Sam quickly clocked out and walked briskly to the Mace's story that was just a couple blocks away. She quickly browsed the junior's department, and picked out some nice blue jeans and a brown low- cut top. She knew she had some make-up in her purse that would go well with it, and she already had some nice shoes on. After she checked out with her purchases she realized she still had 30 minutes for lunch so she ran into a nearby café and grabbed a sandwich and a coke and headed back to the office to anxiously wait for 5:00 pm to come.


	8. Finally

**Thanks for reading. I don't own Rent. **

**How Did We Get Here How The Hell Christmas, Christmas Eve Last Year.  
**

* * *

Mark couldn't believe what just took place. Out of all the bohemians, he was the shyest. In high school he never had the nerve to ask a girl out, not even Maureen. In fact, when he and Maureen started dating it was Maureen who asked him, and not the other way around. Roger, Collins, and Benny had often teased him about it. He had no idea what came over him. He didn't think it was just because he wanted to be Sam's friend. No he wanted something more. He had never seen another bohemian around Buzzline when he had been there before, but he could just tell by the way Sam dressed, talked and acted, she was pure bohemian. And he liked that about her and couldn't wait to get to know her. He just hoped the others liked her too.

He decided to call Collins, who was chilling at the loft, to let him know that he was going to bring a friend. As he dialed the phone he secretly hoped that Collins would pick up before it reached the answer machine, but knowing Collins as well as he did he knew that was very unlikely.  
"SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" Came over the phone, and Mark knew Collins was screening, or had gone to Angel's grave as he had done so far every day since the funeral.

"Hey Collins, its Mark, pick up the phone." Mark said as he waited impatiently for Collins to answer.

"Hey Mark, sorry about that, wasn't sure if it was your mom or someone else. What's up?" Collins said

"Just thought I let you know I'm bringing someone to the Life with me tonight." Mark said with a smile.

"Oh man, let me guess. It's a girl."

"Wait how did you guess?"

"Um, Mark I've known you since forever, we grew up together. I know things, and I know you only sound like that when you have a girl. Plus it sounds like you are smiling pretty big right now. Bout time Cohen."

"Yea, I guess I finally started listening to Angel and Mimi's message, and live no day but today, or maybe I started listening to Roger, who told me I hide behind my camera. I don't know exactly what came over me, but I just started talking to her. I found out she is new to New York, and doesn't really know anyone or been anywhere. So I invited her to the Life. I figured she would enjoy that and it's a great place to start."

"Awesome. Hope this one is fun." Collins said as he laughed

"She seems like it. Guess we will find out though."

"Yep but shouldn't you be working?" Collins finally asked Mark.

"Nah, its lunch time right now. I just thought I would let you know. "Mark said

"Ah got you. Well I guess I will see you later at the Life." Collins said

"Yea, talk to you later." Mark said before hanging up the phone.

He looked at a clock near by and realized he still had 45 minutes left for lunch so he left the building and found a new café and grabbed something to eat. Seeing as how he still had time he went to a near by park and sat on a bench and ate and watched the different people walk past, and wished he had his camera with him before heading back to the office.


	9. Life Cafe

**I don't own Rent or this lyric from David Cook **

**Try to Leave A Light On When I'm Gone  
**

* * *

The day seemed to drag to Mark. He wasn't sure if it was because of the fact that he was so anxious to see Sam again, or just get out of there, or because it was his first day, all he knew was that he wished it would go quicker than it was. Finally it was 4:45 pm. So Mark started cleaning up by putting the various film pieces away and slowly walking to the break room. There were tables and chairs in the break room, so Mark sat down while waiting for Sam to come. Finally it was 5:00pm and at the same time it turned Sam came walking in with her new clothes. This completely shocked Mark as he was not expecting her to look so beautiful, and dressed as nice as she was. She had her long brown hair down now instead of up in a ponytail like it was earlier. "Wow! You look amazing" Mark said smile sweetly to her.

"Thanks. Glad you like it." Sam said smiling back.

"So you ready to go?" Mark asked

"Um, yea how are we going to get there?" Sam asked

"Well I rode my bike here. So how did you get here?" Mark asked

"I rode a bike as well. They are a whole lot cheaper than riding in a taxi." Sam said smiling

"Ok well we can just ride our bikes to the Life Café."

With that the two made it out of the building and rode their bikes to the Life Café, when they got to the Life Sam put her leather coat on. "I'm glad I brought my coat, it is cold out here." She said with a shiver.

"Yea good thing" Mark said as he locked his bike up outside the restaurant. "You ready to go in?" He asked looking at her.

"Um, I don't know. What if your friends don't like me?" Sam said her blue eyes staring into his.

Mark laughed a little. "Not possible. Only way they wouldn't like you was if you were a yuppie scum."

"Um ok" She said. And the two made their way inside. Mark knew where they were as soon as he walked in as there were tables pushed together in the middle of the café. It seemed to him very rare for Collins not to push together the chairs. He made his way with Sam behind him to the two tables. Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Benny and a few other bohemian who also lived in Alphabet City were already sitting at the table. Next to Collins was an empty seat as well as two next to Benny, on one side of the table. Mark walked up "Hey guys, this is Sam. She works at Buzzline also and just moved here to NYC."  
Collins then got up walked around to the side Mark and Sam were standing on. Collins gave Mark a huge hug. "Bout time you got here." Collins said as he pulled away from Mark.

"Collins, it's not even exactly 5:30pm yet." Mark said looking at his friend.

"I know. So who's your friend?" Collins said grinning.

"Sam this is Collins, Collins this is Sam." He said introducing the two. "Everyone else this is Sam. Sam this is Maureen, Joanne, Benny, Sarah, Jon, Phil, Anna, Chris, David, Mary, Kris, and Nick.

"Hi" Sam said shyly.

"Here let's take a seat." Mark said as he pulled a chair out for Sam on the side of the table they were standing on. He then sat next to her. Collins then went to the other side and sat in his seat.

Sam was wondering why there were three empty seats on the other side of the table. She decided to wait til later to find out why. A waitress then came by and asked Mark and Sam what they wanted as they were the only ones who hadn't ordered yet. "All have a Life Burger with Cheese." Sam said as she quickly looked at the menu. "

"And for you, Mark?" The waitress asked

"I'll have the same, and a hot tea." Mark said.

"Alright for the rest of you, you guys want anything else?" The waitress asked

"WINE AND BEER" All the bohemians shouted.

"Ya got it." The waitress said not even bothering to right it down before walking to the back of the kitchen.

Sam then whispered to Mark, "How does the waitress know your name?"

"Oh, Jan, She's a bohemian too. In fact most of the people who work here know us and are at the table when they don't have to work. They love us here, well all except for one person."

"Who is that?" Sam said with a questioning look on her face

"The manager, he thinks we "disturb" the other customers." Mark said laughing "But all is customers are bohemian majority of the time."

"Oh ok" Sam said as she watched the rest of the bohemians interact with each other.

When the waitress came back she had a tray full of wine glasses and beer bottles.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Cheers went up all around the tables.

Collins then stood up on the chair with a beer bottle in hand. "This is to Angel. Long may she always be with us in our hearts." Collins said with a smile. Again cheers went up around the table and everyone held their wine glasses and beer bottles up and said "to Angel"

"Who is Angel?" Sam whispered to Mark.

"One of the best people I've ever known. I'll tell you more later." Mark whispered back.

The evening was amazing to Sam. She didn't realize that there were people who had a similar lifestyle as she did. She finally was beginning to feel as though she could fit in New York City, not at Buzzline but she knew she could fit in Alphabet City with the rest of the bohemians. She just hoped they would never discover her secrete.


	10. Private Talk

**I don't own Rent. Hope you are enjoying my story. IF you have tips or any kind of suggestions please let me know and leave feedback. Thanks :)**

**Would you light my candle?**

* * *

Sam was happy, yet sad when the night finally came to an end when everyone slowly started heading home. The last ones left of the group were: Maureen, Joanne, Collins, Mark and her. Joanne then looked at her watch. "Well we better get going Maureen; I have to be at the office early. It was nice to meet you, Sam" Joanne said smiling.

"BYE SAM" Maureen yelled loudly as she and Joanne stepped out of the café and walked back to the loft.

"Hey I'll see you back at the loft, Mark. Hope to see you around more Sam." Collins said as he followed after the two women.

"Well, it's just us. Would you like me to walk you home?" Mark said smiling.

"Um, sure." Sam said as they walked outside and unlocked their bikes. "This way." Sam said as she smiled.

The whole way to Sam's place the two stayed quiet, as if absorbing the silence. When they reached her place Mark finally found his voice. "So did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yea that was lots of fun. I just have a question. How come there were three empty seats?" Sam asked as they sat on the steps that led up to her apartment.

Mark sighed sadly. "They are for Angel, Mimi, and Roger. Angel died recently. Halloween was her funeral. She was Collins' lover. She died of AIDS. "Mark paused and took a deep breath. He could feel the tears coming but knew he had to finish. "Mimi was one of Angel's best friends. She lives underneath me and my friends in the apartment below the loft. She dances at the Cat Scratch Club, but she is in rehab right now. She's a junkie, but with Benny's help she is getting the help she needs that we can't afford to give her. She has HIV as well." Mark paused again knowing the next one would be the hardest. He took off his glasses and wiped away the tears that had started to flow.

"Wow, I'm so sorry. " Sam sputtered out as she reached to pull Mark into a hug. "Believe it or not I know how it feels, one of my best friends, she died 4 months ago due to AIDS."

Mark looked up as he placed his glasses back on his face. "Really?" He asked

Sam slowly shook her head yes. "That's why I moved here. Me and her always dreamed of moving to New York and living together, and make our own paths in life here. When she died, I knew I had to continue her dream for her. So I moved here."

"Wow. That's amazing Sam." Mark said as he placed his hand on her knee.

"Thanks, hey you never did finish your story. What about Roger? What's his story?" She asked

Mark took a big sigh before continuing. "Roger is my best friend. He has HIV as well, but doesn't know how to escape pain, so after Angel died he left."

"Left? Where did he go?" Sam asked

"Santa Fe. He loves Mimi, but doesn't want to see her die, so he ran. I miss him so much. I'm hoping he comes back soon, but knowing Roger there is no telling. He was a junkie but Collins and I helped him off the stuff." Mark said as he took his glasses off to wipe the tears that had flowed freely down his face.

"Wow. I'm sorry you've had so much pain in your life" Sam said as she pulled Mark into a hug.

"It's okay. Cause all three of them have taught me to live No Day But Today" Mark said smiling

"Well I better getting going" Sam said as she stood up, "I have to be down at BUzzline pretty early."

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Good-night Sam." Mark said as he stood up as well.

"Good-night Mark." Sam said as she disappeared inside.

With that Mark took his bike and went back to the loft. Once inside he collapsed in his bed, on the other hand Sam was doing something entirely different. As soon as she closed the door she slid down the door and cried into her hands.


	11. A Secret

**Sorry this is short. Don't worry more is coming. I hope you are enjoying this please let me know what you think. **

**I don't own Rent cause if I did it wouldn't have closed lol.**

**TO Going Against the Grain, Going insane, Going MAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!**

* * *

Sam sat on the floor crying into her hands until it seemed as though her tears has dried. She then slowly stood up and went to take a shower. She was doing fine as the warm water washed over her body, as if it was getting rid of all the emotion she was going through. She slowly got dressed into some pajamas and made her way to her bedroom, but it was there that her world came crashing down again with another sea of emotions. For on the dressers in the room were pictures, of her and her best friend Crystal. The girl looked just like her except she had blonde hair and Sam had brown. They had often been mistaken as sisters when they were younger. Which Sam didn't mind for she was closer to Crystal than anyone else in her life. Crystal was Sam's savior in life. There were many times, Sam had wanted to end her life, end it all, and Crystal has stopped her every time. It tore her apart when Crystal discovered that she had HIV, for Sam knew that if Crystal had the disease, she probably did too, as it was Crystal who had introduced Sam to heroin.

Talking to Mark had opened up all the old wounds again. She knew if she told Mark the whole story he would most likely understand. However, hearing some of Mark's story she knew that if she told him her story, even just a little bit, it would hurt him terribly, and Mark seemed so nice. Also she truly cared about him, so she knew she couldn't tell him the truth, as much as she wanted to. So to make herself feel happy she knew she needed the heroin. She went ahead and called Buzzline to tell them she wasn't feeling well, so they wouldn't be calling her in the morning. She then dug her stash up out of on of her dresser drawers. She took out 3 packets of the stuff, took her needle, and went into the restroom. From there she proceeded to slowly push the first packet into her vein, and drifted to a place and time, where she was happy.


	12. Happiness

**YAY! I got to Chapters done today! I actually have most of the story, or a good portion of it anyway planed out in my head so its just a matter of typing it up :)**

**I don't own Rent. :) Or David Cook who owns this lyric below :)  
**

**I feel sick, I feel nervous I know just what I did to deserve this**

* * *

Mark couldn't believe the day he had. He certainly didn't think it was going to be as amazing as it was. At first he thought he was going to hate working at Buzzline especially because of how sleazy and corporate the show was, and he had been right, except for one factor, Sam. The fact that she too, had lost someone due to the AIDS virus touched him, and he couldn't wait to get to Buzzline the next day just to see her and talk to her. He was hoping to show her some more of his favorite spots in the city as they had spent the entire evening with the other bohemians at the Life Café. He was glad to see that she had enjoyed herself, and hoped that she would hang out with him, and his friends more. Mark practically skipped back to the loft. When he came through the loft doors a few minutes later, Collins was sitting on the couch, with a bottle of Stoli and a huge grin on his face. "MARK!! Bout time you got a girl." Collins said smiling.

"Thanks" Mark said as he hung up his coat and scarf.

"So, what did you guys talk about?" Collins asked

"Just some stuff, like she asked about Angel, Mimi and Roger. So I told her what was going on with those three. What is with the 20 questions? You are sounding like a teenage girl." Mark said as he sat down on the couch next to his friend.

"I'm just curious. It's been a while since you've had a girl, and that was Maureen, and she dumped you for a girl." Collins said laughing.

"Geez thanks for the reminder as if I didn't know." Mark said

"Well, do you think you'll see her again?"

"Probably Collins, we do work at the same place."

"Oh yea. Well ok."

Mark then looked at the clock that was on the wall. "I better go to bed. I've got a pretty early start tomorrow at Buzzline. Night." Mark said as he got up from the couch and went to collapse in his bedroom.

"Night." Collins said before he finished off the rest of the Stoli and passed out on the couch, again.


	13. Discovery

**I don't own Rent. Hope you are enjoying the story. Sorry for any delays and sorry for the cliff hanger, but if you had been reading I'm pretty sure you have an idea of what Collins found.**

**I don't own emotion I RENT  
**

* * *

3 Days Later…

"Collins, I am really worried about her." Mark said as he burst into the loft.

"Who?" Collins asked as he looked up at his friend from his paper

"Sam, she hasn't been at Buzzline in 3 days. They keep saying she has called out sick, but I just feel that something else is up." Mark said as he started to pace.

"Well, she could really be sick, Mark. It was the coldest it's been in a while and didn't she say she was from Florida?"

"Yea, so what does that have to do with anything?"

"She probably isn't use to cold weather and got sick because of it."

"Oh, well that makes sense. I didn't think about that. Maybe I should bring her some soup." Mark said as he made his way to the kitchen to find some soup. Finally found some chicken noodle soup. He began to heat it up on the hot plate.

"Well, there you go. Want me to come with you?" Collins asked as he stood up.

"Yea, sure why not. " Mark answered as he began digging for a thermos. Finally he found one and poured the hot soup into it. "I hope this makes her feel better."

"You ready to go?" Mark asked Collins.

"Yea let's go." Collins answered as he headed out the door.

The two friends made their way to Sam's apartment. When they got there Mark slowly and loudly knocked on the door. It took a few minutes until the heard some noises coming from the apartment until finally the door opened. It was Sam.

"Sam, are you okay?" Mark said looking at her. He knew something was up. He could see it in the dark circles under her eyes.

"Yea, I'm just sick. That's all." She said as she turned to cough.

"Well, I brought you some soup." Mark said as he handed her the soup.

She slowly took it. "Thanks."

"Are you sure you are okay taking care of yourself in this apartment?" Mark asked

"Yea, I'm fine Mark." Sam said before another coughing fit took place.

"Ok, cause I was just going to invite you to stay at the loft with us. There is always someone around and you wouldn't have to be in this big apartment by yourself while you are sick."

"No, I'm sure. I'll be back at work soon." Sam said as she closed her eyes. She began to sway a little bit from lack of eating and the all of the heroin she had been using.

"You okay there? Seems like you are a little weak."

"Yea it's just hard to keep anything in my stomach. That's all." Sam started to sway again but this time she passed out and fell.

"COLLINS" Mark yelled as he quickly tried to catch Sam and lower her to the floor slowly.

"Yea" Collins said as he popped up in the door. "Oh man, is she okay?" He said as he noticed Sam on the floor.

"Not sure, she just passed out. We got to get her somewhere warmer. It's freezing in this apartment of hers."

"Let's take her back to the loft. I'll go find some blankets." Collins said as he disappeared in to the apartment. A minute later he called Mark. "MARK!!"

"Yea, did you find some blankets?"

"Yea but I found something you need to see." With that Mark stood up and went in the direction that Collin's voice was in. He finally found him in the bathroom, and what he found scared him.


	14. Decisions

**I don't own Rent. Or the Fray which own the lyric below :) **

**Lost and insecure you found me  
**

**I just want to say thank you so much to my 3 watchers of this story ( you guys know who you are ) Also thanks to all reviewers :) Hope you are enjoying the story. Let me know if you have a tips for me.**

**Thanks :)  
**

* * *

"Oh man. This isn't good." Mark said as he held one of his hands to his mouth, and tears flowed down his face. In the bathroom was needles and heroin packets, some empty some with the powder still in it. They were everywhere, in the sink on the counter, and on the floor.

"Mark, we got to get her help. " Collins said, but Mark didn't hear him. He was in a total state of shock.

"MARK!" Collins said again trying to get his friend to snap out of it.

"Oh sorry, what was that again?" Mark said as he shook his head trying to clear his head, and do what needed to be done.

"We need to get her help, Mark. We can't leave her here." Collins said

"Yes, I agree totally. We should bring her back to the loft. It's clean there, no drugs. We helped Roger get off drugs before so we can do it again with Sam. Bring the blankets." Mark said as he left the room to go back to where Sam was. She still was out of it, so Mark quickly looked around for Sam's keys. He found it on a lanyard on the counter. He grabbed them and placed them around his neck before heading back to Sam when he got there Collins was there wrapping Sam in the blankets.

"Do you want to carry her or should I?" Collins asked when Mark popped back up.

"You're stronger than I am, so you should carry her." Mark said looking down at Sam, as he did so a tear fell from his face.

"Ok" Collins said nodding slowly as he looked up at his friend. Collins then stood up, placed one hand on Mark's shoulder. "It'll be okay, Mark. We'll take care of her. "Collins said smiling before squatting back down to pick up Sam. Once Collins had the girl settled in his arms, Mark and Collins made their way back to the loft. When they finally made it to the loft Mark quickly cleaned the couch, and placed a blanket down on top of it. Collins then set Sam on top the couch and wrapped her in the remaining blankets. Mark then went in the kitchen and sat on the floor and put his head in his hands. Collins came into the kitchen after he got Sam settled on the couch.

"How are doing? Handling all this?" Collins said as he crouched down to be at Mark's level.

Mark looked up at him with tear stained eyes. "It's hard. After Roger, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of caring about someone who was using. But, then Mimi found us; however Benny helped her go to rehab, so we didn't have to help her off the drug." Mark paused and wiped his glasses off. "I don't know if I can do it again. I don't know if I can be the pillar of strength like I was when Roger was withdrawing and depressed. Because I wasn't as strong as everyone thought I was. I was trying to hold it together because I knew life would be unbearable if I lost my best friend, and now that he is gone, I feel like I'm nothing. I don't think I can help someone go through withdrawal again, especially when I am barely holding myself together."

Collins nodded. "I know it's hard, Mark. Do you think we could do it? Maureen, Joanne, you and I take turns helping her? Or should we get Benny to help by sending her to rehab?"

"No I don't want that for her. I want her to feel comfortable, but I don't know. I guess as long as we all work together as a team we could do it. Plus I don't want to feel like I "owe" Benny; you know how he can get sometimes. Especially when he gets short of money to provide Allison with her every whim. No we will do it. I can pull myself together to help a friend. Because I don't want to have to tell anyone that their loved one died cause I couldn't help, that would hurt me more than anything. "Mark said before getting up and heading to his room. With that Collins decided to watch Sam first, and so he sat in the chair near the couch, and curled up and went to sleep.


	15. Sadness

**I don't own Rent.**

* * *

Collins woke up to Mark tapping him. "Hey Collins wake up" He was whispering. Collins groaned softly and looked over at the couch where Sam was still laying.  
"How is she doing?" He asked Mark looking at the sadness in his eyes.

Mark just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. She hasn't woken up yet. She just keeps tossing and turning a lot." Mark then went over to the couch, sat on the arm nearest Sam's head. He then took the damp cloth in his hands, and wiped Sam's sweating face and arms with it. Mark then turned around and walked outside to the balcony, and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Collins seeing the sadness in his friend's eyes got up and followed him.

"How are you doing?" Collins asked his friend as he stood beside him on the balcony.

"I don't know. It's been days, Collins. I've had little sleep, and I'm worried. She doesn't look good, and Alexi has been on my ass about deadlines, I'm trying to finish my film before Roger comes back, and I'm worried about Sam. She's not doing well. I'm very tempted to call Benny, and see if he can pay for rehab, but I don't know. I mean the last time he did that was for Mimi, and somehow she escaped, and now Mimi is somewhere on the streets, and I'm scared for her." Mark said as he put out the cigarette, sat on the ground and put his head in his hands.

Collins knelt next to his friend. "I understand all that, Mark, but Sam isn't doing well. If we don't get her to a hospital soon, she could die. She would be better off to where someone can take care of her. It's wearing you out, and that's not good. You have to take care of yourself. Come on; let's get her to a hospital. "Collins said standing up and holding out his hand to pull Mark up.

Mark looked up at his friend. He slowly nodded but didn't say a word. He just took Collins hand and stood up. Once he was standing up he gave Collins a huge hug. "Thanks" Then he walked back inside where Sam lay on the couch. Collins then walked inside and gave Benny a call.


	16. Getting Help

**I don't own Rent. Or Simple Plan. Or their song that I used in this Chapter which is called Welcome to My Life, which is an awesome song.**

**But yea. Just want to say Thanks to all readers, watchers, and reviewers. I hope to have a happier Mark for you guys soon, or maybe the return of Roger, or both cause the return of Roger would make Mark happy. :) WOO HOO**

**Also I don't own David Cook. Who owns this lyric right below this sentence.**

**Oh How I've been sold and spun again.  
**

* * *

Collins took care of everything while Mark stayed my Sam's side trying to keep her as cool as possible, seeing as how she was running a high fever. When Collins got off the phone, he told Mark when they would be there to pick up Sam.  
"They'll be here soon to come get her." Collins said softly.

"You talked to Benny?" Mark said not looking at Collins

"Yea, he is going to pay for it. He told me to tell you not to feel bad. You did what you could, and she's going to get the best help as possible." Collins said placing a hand on Mark's shoulder.

Mark just nodded, and continued to wipe Sam's sweating body down with the cool cloth. Finally after a few minutes, Mark looked at Collins. "When will they be here?"

Collins looked at his watch. "They will probably be here soon. Why?"

Mark just shook his head, stood up, and went into his room and closed the door. Collins could hear Mark rummaging through things in his room, and then the sound of the filmmaker's projector running. Collins' heart then broke for the filmmaker. He knew some of Mark's pain, but not all of it, for unlike Mark, Collins would also die from the AIDS virus most likely.

A minute later the phone was ringing.

_SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!_

"Hey Guys, its Benny, I'm here with the ambulance to pick up Sam."  
Collins then hurried to the phone.

"Yea, we're here. I'll drop the key down. "With that Collins hung up the phone and threw the key to Benny off the balcony.

A second later Benny came through the door with two EMTs on his heels with a stretcher in between them. They immediately figured out who they were there to help and begin setting up the stretcher to fit Sam on it. Soon music began to flow loudly from Mark's room.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you  
Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming_

Collins knew the song well, for anytime Mark had ever been upset that was usually the song he played the loudest. It was Simple Plan's Welcome to my Life. He knew that Mark was in his room, crying his eyes out and would most likely soon start throwing things, but Collins knew that Sam had to be taken care of first before Mark would come out.

_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me_

_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

It was in Mark doing this, that Collins knew the filmmaker had finally hit his breaking point. He knew it was bound to come soon especially after Roger left. It took Mark longer than Collins had thought it would take him, but he was glad that he had. Now, Collins could finally help the filmmaker out if possible.

_Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more?  
Before your life is over  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding_

_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me_

Collins then turned to the EMT's, doing his best to ignore the music and now the slamming of things coming from Mark's room. "Do you think they'll be able to help her?"

One of the EMT's turned to Collins "Yea, she'll be fine once we get her there. She is burning up. Why did you guys wait so long to get her help?"

Collins looked sadly, towards Mark's door. "He was afraid to get her help. He is a little lost right now and needed to help her, but she was already in bad shape when we found her."

_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

_No one ever lied straight to your face  
And no one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work it was always there  
You don't know what it's like, what it's like_

The other EMT nodded. "It's okay. We understand. We would have been the same way." They finished loading Sam on the stretcher. "Alright so who is going to ride with us?"

Benny and Collins exchanged looks. "I'll go. You stay here, and help Mark. He needs you." Benny said as he followed the EMT's out of the loft down to the ambulance below. Collins watched from the balcony until the ambulance drove away.

_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)_

_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life_

Then he did what he knew he had to do. He slowly walked to Mark's room and opened the door. He shook his head slowly in sadness when he finally spotted Mark. The room was trashed and the only thing that hadn't been touched during Mark's outrage was Mark's camera and projector. Mark was in one of the corners of the room, rocking himself back and forth and crying. Collins walked over to him and pulled Mark into his lap and rocked him. "Shhh! You are okay. Sam will be okay. It will be okay."  
Mark's sobs slowly lessened. Collins gently rubbed his friend's back. A few minutes later Collins heard the door of the loft open, and Maureen and Joanne's voices. "COLLINS, MARK? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS? WHERE'S SAM?" Collins finally answered. "HEY MAUREEN, JOANNE, WE'RE IN MARK'S ROOM." A few seconds later the couple popped up into Mark's door. When Maureen saw the mess, she knew what had happened.


	17. A Broken Man

**I don't own Rent. Hope you are enjoying the story. :)**

* * *

"He played the Simple Plan song didn't he?" Maureen said as she looked at Collins, who was still holding Mark. Collins just nodded his head yes. Joanne, who hadn't been around long enough to know about the Simple Plan song, looked at Maureen then at Collins then back at Maureen. "Wait what is with the Simple Plan song and why is Mark's room trashed?"

Maureen looked at Joanne with tears forming in her eyes. "Mark plays _Welcome To My Life_ by Simple Plan, whenever he is angry or sad, or just can't take it anymore. Seeing as how Sam isn't on the couch I'm guessing Mark finally was worn down by the whole thing and had Collins call Benny to get Sam help. He didn't want to see them take her, and felt like he was useless again and so he did what he always does when he feels insufficient, which is go in his room, and turn on _Welcome To My Life_. He then gets to the point where he starts throwing things in an attempt to try to get rid of whatever emotion he's feeling. He does this usually til the song is over and usually by that time he has completely broken down and is usually crying on the floor." Maureen told Joanne as she watched the filmmaker who was in Collins' arms and sobbing again.

"Does he do this a lot?" Joanne asked wondering just how many times Mark had done this around the bohemians in order to have Maureen peg it on the nail.

Collins shook his head no. "He's only done this three times now, and all three of the times it was after something tragic that Mark somehow felt he could have stopped, even though he couldn't."

"Really, what was the other two times?" Joanne asked now looking at the filmmaker who was more of a shell of a man than she had ever seen before.

"The first was when his grandfather died of lung cancer." Collins said

"And the other was when April killed herself in the bathroom. Though of course he didn't do it here that time, even though he was living here, he stayed at Benny's and Allison's place for a couple days, and Collins got the call that Mark had broken down. So he had to leave Roger, who was going through withdrawal here with me while he helped Mark." Maureen finished

"Wow, poor guy. He should learn not to hold it in til he explodes. How long does it usually take him to calm down?" Joanne said worrying about Mark.

"It depends on the situation at hand. This by far is the worse. He wants to help Sam out so much." Collins said.

"Well, maybe it will help if he goes and visits her. They should have her all settled in now, and my car is parked downstairs." Joanne said.

"Yes, please. I need to see her. I want to make sure she's okay." Mark voice said from Collins' lap. It sounded so far away and sad.

"Well, I guess it's settled then. We'll go to the hospital where Sam's at." Joanne said as she left the room. Maureen followed after, and the two of them waited patiently for Collins and Mark to come.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Collins asked Mark as the filmmaker slowly stood up.

"Yes I have to go." Mark said as he grabbed his glasses from the dresser, and began digging around his room for his scarf.

"No you don't. If you think it's going to cause you more heartache and pain you don't have to go." Collins said as he watched his friend look frantically for the scarf.

"I do have to go. I will feel bad if I don't. I'm going and that's that. "Mark said as he finally found the scarf and wrapped it around his neck and walked out into the main area of the loft where Joanne and Maureen were waiting for them. Collins followed and the four of them made their way out of the loft and to Joanne's car. The whole way there Joanne, Collins and Maureen made small talk while Mark just sat silently and stared out the window.


	18. The Hospital

**I don't own Rent Enjoy the story :)**

* * *

When they reached the hospital, Collins had Joanne, and Maureen take a seat with Mark while he went to the desk to find out which room Sam was in.

"Can I help you?" The blonde nurse at the desk asks.

"Yes, I'm looking for Sam Jones' room. She should have been brought in." Collins answered.

"Hold on just a second." The nurse began to type some things on the computer. "She's in Room 452. But the doctor would like to talk to you before you see her. If you'll just take a seat, I'll let him know you are here." Collins just nodded and went and sat next to Joanne.

"What room is she in?" Mark asked

"Room 452, but the doctor wants to talk to us first. Then we can see her. He probably just wants to outline some rules and guidelines and his plan to help her." Collins explained.

After a few short minutes a doctor with dark black hair came and stood in the lobby.

"Sam Jones." He said

"That's us" Mark said standing up and going to where the doctor was. Behind him followed Collins, then Maureen and Joanne.

"How is she doing?" Mark asked anxiously. Collins placed his hand on Mark's shoulder in an attempt to calm the filmmaker down.

"She's still hasn't come to yet. However she is stable, so we are just keeping an eye on her. She has an IV in her arm in an attempt to get some nutrition back in her system. Benny explained everything to us, and so we are going to be keeping her for a good bit a time, but you are more than welcome to see her and talk to her. In fact, I'll take you to her now. If you have any questions you can just ask for me. I'm Dr. Sparks." And with that the doctor led the bohemians down the long white hall of the hospital to Sam's room. "Well, this is her room, again if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask" And then the doctor was gone leaving the four bohemians standing outside of Sam's door. Mark stood in front of the door for a little bit, not moving.

"Go, on Mark." Collins said gently pushing Mark towards the door.

Mark turned and looked at Collins. "I don't know if I can." He said before turning back to stare at the door.

"Course you can Mark. There's a girl in there that needs your help." Collins said. And with that Mark knew he was right, and he slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

Sam's body looked small in the bed, with all the machines hooked to her. Mark pulled a chair next to the bed. He pushed back her sweat soaked hair and kissed her forehead. He then sat in the chair. The others stayed at watched too, but were just as concerned about Mark as they were about Sam. Finally Mark fell asleep with his head on Sam's bed and his hand in her hand.

"Aw! Now isn't that cute" Collins whispered not wanting to wake either.

"Yea its, pretty cute, poor Mark. He's always taking care of someone." Joanne said

"Hey do you guys want to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat?" Maureen ask

"Sure why not." Both Collins and Joanne answered, and so the three of them left.


	19. Taking Care

**I don't own Rent **

* * *

The three friends finally found their way to the cafeteria. Maureen got three cups of coffee while the other two found a table in the back corner.

"I just feel so bad for Mark. It seems since I've known him that he always takes care of everyone else before himself. It's not good." Joanne was saying as Maureen walked up.

"That's just who Mark is. He doesn't know how to not help someone." Collins said taking his coffee from Maureen.

"He'll be fine. He always is." Maureen said as she passed Joanne her coffee and took a seat.

"I know. I just worry that he puts to much pressure on himself. Plus with Roger gone, he wasn't handling things well and now this thing with Sam. I just feel for him." Joanne said as she added some creamer and sugar to her coffee.

"I guess we'll wake him when we go back, that way he can go back to the loft and get a shower before heading off to Buzzline. I won't let him get fired because he didn't show up. He's always quit the jobs he has." Collins said

The friends sat in silence the rest of the time before finally heading back to Sam's room. When they got to the room, Collins gently shook Mark.

"Hey Mark. Wake up." Collins said

Mark groaned a little bit before stretching. "Yea, what's up?"

"You need to go. You got to be a Buzzline, in an hour." Collins said

"I don't want to though. I need to stay here and keep an eye on Sam." He said as he looked at the girl.

"We will be here. If anything happens we'll call." Joanne said

"Oh ok. I guess I'll go. I don't want to but I will go." Mark said as he stood up, and kissed Sam on the forehead. "I'll be back don't worry." He whispered to her. "I'm not going to have enough time to make it back to the loft to get my bike, so I'll call them to let them know I'll be late." He said

"Here's some cash, get a taxi, and something to eat." Joanne said as she handed Mark $40.

"Thanks. Really I appreciate all you guys are doing" Mark said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"It's no problem. That's what friends are for." Collins said giving Mark a hug, and with that Mark left to head to Buzzline.


	20. What You Own

**I don't own Rent or What You Own, which is in Rent and is one of my favorite songs. I hope you guys like how I did this. Hope you enjoy. And dont worry there is more to come. :)  
**

* * *

Mark went to Buzzline for what he knew would be another boring day. He hated working there and since he and Collins had found Sam, it was wearing him out. Plus he never had time to work on his documentary anymore and he wanted to finish it by Christmas. Also he wasn't always behind the scenes anymore. Sometimes they used him as an anchor when someone was out. It was worst when they had him be a field anchor. He hated that. He would rather be behind the camera. Today was one of those days; he was an anchor because someone was out.

_"Hi. Mark Cohen here for _Buzzline_. Back to you, Alexi. Coming up next -- vampire welfare queens who are compulsive bowlers." Oh my God, what am I doing?_

_Don't breathe too deep  
Don't think all day  
Dive into work  
Drive the other way  
That drip of hurt  
That pint of shame  
Goes away  
Just play the game  
You're living in America  
At the end of the millennium  
You're living in America  
Leave your conscience at the tone  
And when you're living in America  
At the end of the millennium  
You're what you own_

As Mark sung, the words that began to describe so much of what he had been feeling he loaded the truck up with the heavy equipment he had used. Little did he know Roger, was in Santa Fe feeling similar and singing the same song.

_And the songwriter cannot hear  
Angel's voice is in my ear  
Just clench your jaw till you frown  
Or you may drown_

_You're living in America  
At the end of the millennium  
You're living in America  
Where it's like the Twilight Zone  
And when you're living in America  
At the end of the millennium  
You're what you own  
So I own not a notion  
I escape and ape content  
I don't own emotion -- I rent_

Mark just wished his shift was over soon, so that he could go back to the hospital and be with Sam. It was all he could keep from doing from worrying about Roger, and everyone else. He also wished he knew where Mimi was, and that things could go back to the way it started last Christmas.

_What was it about that night  
Connection -- in an isolating age  
For once the shadows gave way to light  
For once I didn't disengage  
_  
Mark was happy. He could finally was finished. He decided to walk back to the loft and clean up there before heading back to the hospital. He stopped at the pay phone near the loft first and dialed Buzzline.

_Angel -- I hear you -- I hear it  
I see it -- I see it  
My film!  
__(on the phone)__  
Alexi--Mark  
Call me a hypocrite  
I need to finish my own film  
I quit!  
_

Mark hung up the phone and made his way up to the loft. He took a nice hot shower than climbed up to the roof where he started smoking a cigarette, watched the world go by, and finished the song.

_Dying in America  
At the end of the millennium  
We're dying in America  
To come into our own  
And when you're dying in America  
At the end of the millennium  
You're not alone_

All of a sudden Mark thought he heard another male voice, but knew it couldn't be Collins for he was at the hospital. He turned around, and the site he saw was one he had been looking for a long time. ROGER!

_I'm not alone  
I'm not alone_

When they had finished the last two lines, Mark grabbed his friend into a huge hug. He couldn't believe it. Roger had finally made his way back home.


	21. Roger Returns

**I don't own Rent.  
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The two friends looked each other over not saying a word. Finally, it was Mark who spoke.

"So, you back for good?" He said as he looked at the ground.

"Yea, I finished my song. I figured out that I was being stupid and that Mimi was the song all along." Roger said

Mark looked back up at his friend. "Good, I'm happy for you."

Roger could tell that something was up with Mark, but what he had no idea. He could see it in Mark's eyes.

"What's wrong Mark? Is it Mimi, or Collins or someone else?"

Mark looked at his friend, tears brimming. "It's Mimi and someone else. After you left Benny paid for Mimi to go to rehab. After she got out, no one has seen her. We've tried looking but couldn't find her." Mark sighed.

"Oh, man I hope nothing happens to her. She's got to hear my song. I wrote it just for her. What's with the other person?"

Mark sighed for he knew what he was about to tell Roger would take a lot out of him. "After you left, I started at Buzzline. I met this girl, Sam. She has just moved here. I started talking to her and that night we met up with everyone at the Life Café. I really enjoyed her company; however when I didn't see her at work for a few days I became worried so me and Collins went to her apartment to check on her. What we found was not good. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days and ended up passing out while we were there. Collins went to find a blanket, and discovered something I never thought I would have to deal with again." With this Mark looked up at Roger, tears were streaming down his face. "We found a bunch of used needles, and heroin."

Roger put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "OH man, is she okay?"

Mark slowly shook his head. "I don't know. She's in the hospital. In fact, Collins, Maureen and Joanne are there now. I hope she wakes up soon. I'm really worried about her." Mark said as he turned to go back down to the loft.

Roger followed him, and just as they re-entered the loft, the answer machine went off.

"SPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

"Hey Mark, its Collins, just thought you'd want to know, Sam is starting to wake up. Hope you get this message soon."

With that Mark and Roger exchanged a quick look before Mark sprinted out of the apartment with Roger close on his heels.


	22. She Awakens

**I don't own Rent. Hope you are enjoying the story**

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Mark could hear Roger's feet pounding on the pavement as they ran to the hospital, and though he was happy that his friend had returned the only thing on Mark's mind was getting to the hospital before Sam woke up all the way. As he started to reach the hospital his breath became labored and so he began to slow down. Roger came up behind him, "Come on Mark. You're almost there." Roger said as he ran next to Mark. Mark slowly nodded to out of breath to say anything. They finished running the rest of the way to the hospital. Mark and Roger quit running once inside the hospital and Roger followed Mark up to Sam's room. When he reached Sam's door, he stopped. He looked at Roger. "Hold on wait a minute, stay out here. They don't know you are back yet. Let's surprise them." Mark said with a smile. Roger nodded. "Alright." With that Mark slowly pushed the door to Sam's room. "Hey guys." He said as he gave everyone a hug. "Thanks for staying with her. How is she doing?" Mark asked.

"She's starting to wake up. The doctor knows so he is on-call if she happens to wake up tonight." Collins said.

Mark slowly nodded. "Well, why don't you guys take a break? Maybe go get some coffee or something."

"Alright, do you want anything?" Joanne asked

"Just a hot tea please." Mark said

And with that the three friends left.

"5….4…..3…..2…..and 1" Mark said softly to himself

And sure enough as if right on cue. "ROGER! When did you get back? Does Mark know?" Maureen was exclaiming as the four friends made their into the hospital room where Mark was sitting in a chair, watching Sam and grinning at his friends. Maureen then looked at Mark then back at Roger, who had a similar grin on his face. Maureen then smacked both of them realizing that Mark had set them up, and that he knew Roger was back before he sent them to the cafeteria.

"YOU KNEW!" She said as she smacked Mark in the arm again.

"Only since this afternoon, I had just started talking to him when we got in the loft and got the call from Collins." Mark exclaimed quickly in an effort to not me smacked my Maureen again.

"He's right; I just got in this afternoon, and went to the loft first. Mark explained everything that had gone on since I left. I hope she's okay." Roger said as he nodded his head in the direction of Sam.

"She should be. That's what Dr. Sparks tells us anyway." Collins said.

As if on cue the bohemians heard a small whisper that came from the bed. "Mark"

Mark walked to the chair that was next to the bed, and took Sam's hand in his. "I'm here, Sam. You're okay."

"What happened? Where am I?" Sam asked as tears began to flow down her face.

"I'll get Dr. Sparks" Collins said as he started to walk out. "I'm glad you're up Sam. You gave us a good scare there." With that Collins was gone.

"You passed out shortly after me and Collins came over. We found the needles, Sam. We were worried about you so we took you to the loft. "Mark gently brushed the tears that were now flowing down her eyes.

"Please don't be mad at me" She whispered.

Mark slowly shook his head, tears starting to fall. "I'm not. I just want to help. That's why I had Benny pay for you to come to the hospital. We're getting you help Sam. You're not alone anymore. " He said smiling sweetly to her.

Sam nodded and whispered "thanks"

A few minutes later Collins came back in with Dr. Sparks behind him.

"Hey Sam, glad to see you're up. How are you feeling?" Dr. Sparks said as he looked at her chart.

"I can't talk to well, and I feel kind of groggy." Sam whispered

"Well, that's to be expected. We're going to keep you here a few more nights, and then you can go home." Dr. Sparks said before exiting the room.


	23. Roger Tells His Story

**I don't own Rent. Hope you are enjoying this story. I just want to thank my readers, watchers, and reviewers. I appreciate it.**

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Mark turned to Sam as he finished watching Dr. Sparks leave. "See you'll be fine." Mark said smiling sweetly.

Sam looked at Mark's caring blue eyes with her scared ones. "Mark, I'm scared. I don't want to use anymore." She said whispering with tears flowing down.

"Don't worry. We'll help you. You can stay at the loft with us. "Mark said

"Really, I don't know if I can do it though." She whispered back

"You can. You got Mark to help you, and he is the best person to help because he cares so much and doesn't want anything to happen to anyone." Roger said speaking for the first time since Sam woke up.

Mark then clicked that Sam didn't know who Roger was. "Sam this is Roger, my best friend. The guy I was telling you about that night at the Life."

Sam nodded, and then whispered. "He came back?"

"Yea, he just got back today. He is going to help you get better too. He's been in the same shoes you are now. So he knows how withdrawal is the worst thing, you can go through." Mark said as he brushed the hair from Sam's forehead.

"Hey we better get going Honey Bear. " Joanne said turning to Maureen

"Aw but I want to stay her with Sam, Pookie." Maureen whined

"You can see her some other time. I have a feeling her and Mark need to talk, come on." Joanne said as she headed to the door. "I'm glad you're awake now Sam." Joanne said smiling as she waited for Maureen to get her coat on.

Sam just nodded and smiled.

"Bye Sam. I'm glad you're up too." Maureen said as she and Joanne left the room.

"I should get going." Collins said as he got up and stretched. "Glad you're getting better Sam. I'll see you guys back at the loft."

"I should get going too. " Roger said as he started to head.

"NO, please don't." Sam whispered loudly. "Please stay, I want to hear how you fought the itch to want it so bad." She said as tears began to flow.

"Ok, I'll tell you." Roger said coming back into the room. He pulled up a chair next to Mark, and the bed.

"It all started with April." Roger started slowly. He couldn't believe he was telling his story to someone he just met, however he could tell by the look in Mark's eyes that Sam needed to hear this, and no one could do it, but him.

It took Roger about an hour to tell his story. He told about meeting April, doing drugs, April's suicide, his withdrawal, etc. He told about why he left, and why he came back. When he had finished Sam had tears in her eyes.

"You okay Sam?" Mark asked

She nodded "Thank you Roger I needed to hear that."

At this moment a nurse came in the room, checked Sam's vitals, and told Mark and Roger that they would have to leave soon as visiting hours were almost over.

They said their good-byes to Sam, and Mark promised he would be back in the morning.

The two friends walked with each other in silence. They were enjoying the silence and each other's presence. Mark was glad his best friend was back now so he could have a shoulder to lean on during this difficult time. Roger was hoping they could find Mimi. He planned to start in the morning but now he was tired and was headed home to sleep in his bed.


	24. Helping the Lost

**I don't own Rent. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

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THE NEXT DAY…**

Roger woke up early to begin his search for Mimi. He first went to her apartment to see if there was any thing that would tell him where she was. He then went back upstairs and got his favorite picture of her. Roger was calling different places when Mark woke up.

"Morning, you look like you had a rough night" Mark said to his friend.

"Yea, I'm worried about Mimi; I'm going to start looking today."

"Well, when I leave the hospital today I'll start looking."

"Thanks. I just hope we can find her. I'm worried, it's getting cold. I'm glad Sam woke up for you."

Mark nodded. "I just hope I can help her."

Roger walked over to his friend and places a hand on his shoulder. "If anyone can do it, it is you."

With that the two friends went their way, Roger to start his search for Mimi, and Mark to sit with Sam in the hospital. Both hoping to be able to help the two girls, both who were lost but in different ways.

**December 24****th****….**

Sam was living in the loft now. She had been there for a few days. Collins was going back to NYC, so the boys fixed up Collins old room to allow her to sleep there. Mark slept in a cot in Collins room, so he could help Sam when she needed him. Roger was still searching for Mimi with the help of the other bohemians, but there was still no sign of her, and he was worried. As a result, he didn't sleep or eat much unless Mark prodded him about it. Mark had finally finished his film, and the other bohemians were coming over later that night to view it. All was quiet in the loft for now, no one was up. A racking cough then echoed through the loft. A few other noises are made such as a water faucet being turned on then off again. "Here you go, drink some of this" Mark's voice was saying. "How are you feeling?"

"Cold" Sam's voice said softly as she shivered.

"I'll get some blankets." Mark said as he started to leave.

"No don't." Sam said as another racking cough racked through her body.

"Here you need these?" Roger said standing in the door with a pile of blankets.

Mark turned toward the sound of his friend's voice and smiled up at him. "Thank-you." He said as he stood up to get the blankets.  
Roger placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm here for you both; I know its only going to get harder. But you can do it." Roger said looking at Sam.

Sam just nodded, and laid back down on the bed, trying to curl into a tight ball. Mark tucked the blankets around Sam, and rubbed on her back. "Any luck finding Mimi, yet?" Mark asked

Roger shook his head. "Not yet, I was hoping to find her by tonight, I'm going to look for her soon."

Mark knew that his friend was worn down and tired, but wouldn't stop until he found Mimi. All of the bohemians had been trying, but so far no luck. "Don't worry, you'll find her."

"I hope so, its getting cold out, and she hasn't had her AZT in a while." Roger said as he left the room to the couch.

A few minutes later Mark could hear music from Roger's guitar flowing through the air. Sam had another racking coughing fit, so Mark rubbed her back trying to help soothe her. A few minutes later Mark emerged from the room. Roger looked up as his friend crossed the room, to the kitchen.

"How is she doing?" He asked as he set his guitar down.

Mark shook his head "She has her good days and bad days. The cough of hers racks my nerves every time, but she'll be fine I know she can do it. Plus she has enough of us pulling for her. I just hope we find Mimi, I'm worried about her as much as you."

Roger just nodded then picked the guitar back up and began to play again, but soon he grew frustrated about not finding Mimi, so he set the guitar down, disappeared into his room, and came out with his leather jacket and shoes on. "I'm going to look for Mimi, I'll be back later. " He said as he left the loft.

"Hope you find her." Mark whispered more to himself than anything.

Mark knew that while Sam was sleeping was the best time for him to sleep to. So after drinking a glass of juice he headed back to Collins' room. He checked on Sam, found she was sleeping but shivering slightly so he left to find some more blankets. When he came back he tucked them around her, tightly. After which she stopped shivering, then he lay down on the cot, and was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

**December 24 9pm EST Mark's POV**

Sam is sleeping, I haven't seen Roger since this morning when he left to try and find Mimi again. I hope he finds her. Everyone else is meeting with us here later tonight, and we will preview my documentary, yes the one that has taken a year. I guess I better set up the projector, so it's ready when everyone gets here.


	25. Sam's Choice

**Sorry for the delay. I've been so busy I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

I don't own Rent.

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December 24****th**** 10:30 PM EST Sam's POV**

I'm lucky. Lucky to have Mark and Collins find me at my lowest point. So near death I was when they found me. But soon I'll be stronger in both spirit and mind. They found Mimi and have just now loaded her in an ambulance to the hospital. Roger went with her and Benny is going to pay. I hope she gets well; I really want to meet her. Everyone else rode with Joanne in her vehicle to the hospital, except Mark. No one knew that I was awake. I heard Maureen and Joanne burst in with Mimi and decided to stay in Collins room. I figured I would just be in the way. Roger's song made me cried when he sung it to Mimi. Shortly after everyone left to go to the hospital Mark came to check on me.

"Hey you're up?" He said as he walked into the room.

I nod slowly as I go to lie back down on Collin's bed. Mark slowly sits on the edge of the bed and rubs my back. This causes me to erupt into sobs. I try to hold it but the tears come flowing out and I can't stop them. "Hey are you okay?" He asks as he gently rubs my back. I slowly nod but that still doesn't stop Mark's concern for me. I slowly try to sit up from my position in the bed but do it too quickly and get light headed, so I put my head in between my knees. Mark thinking I may throw up so runs and gets a garbage can from the can. "Sam, I got a can." I slowly nod but just stay in that position til I can breathe easy again and my sobs have subsided. I sit up the rest of the way and Mark places a hand on my knee. "I'm here Sam, just so you know. Maureen and Joanne found Mimi. She is at the hospital. Everyone left to go there." I slowly look in to Mark's eyes. "Except you. You didn't go. Don't you want to be there for Roger?" I ask with a tilt of my head. Mark smiled softly. "He has everyone else with him. Plus, he'll be too worried about Mimi to even notice me. I'll see him later. Plus I didn't want anything to happen to you while we were gone, and I know you don't want to go back to the hospital, so I stayed." It was at this moment I realized how truly caring of a person Mark was. I knew he wanted to go with everyone to help Roger and Mimi at the hospital, but he stayed in case I need him. Tears begin to flow as I realized all of this and Mark's face begin to show signs of concern on it. He slowly wiped my tears away. "It's okay Sam." I nod then spoke. "I know. Actually everything is better than okay. I think it's time I told you my story." I said looking up at Mark with tear-stained eyes.


	26. Sam's Story

**I don't own Rent. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave reviews so I can improve.**

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"It started when I was younger. I was an only child. My father was there but not really. He was always away on business trips and things of that nature. So basically it was just me and my mother most of the time, and even she was to busy to notice me." Sam started and with a slight shiver she wrapped her blanket around her tighter and continued "She didn't notice when I began to slip away from everyone and everything. I was so depressed and my own mother didn't even notice." Sam says as a small tear fell down her face. "I came close to killing myself many times, until I met Crystal. Crystal found me on one of the worst days I had had up to that point and was collecting all my items from my school locker to bring home so my parents wouldn't have to worry about it. Not like they would have noticed anyway. Well I had so much stuff that I kept dropping books and papers. Of course no one was really paying attention well one of the times I dropped some of my books and papers, I was squatting down to pick them up.

Crystal stopped and begin to neatly stack my papers as we stood up she handed them to me. She had blonde hair and was popping bubbles on a piece of gum that was in her mouth. 'I'm Crystal' she said as she had stuck her hand out to shake mine.

I moved my books to my hip, and shook her hand. 'I'm Samantha, but you can call me Sam. I got to head home though. '

I started to hurry out the door but Crystal soon caught up to me. 'Why don't you come to my house? Surely your parents won't care. We can stop first at your house so you can drop your books off.'

I slowly shrugged my shoulders. 'Ok, I guess.' I told her. With that we headed out to Crystal's car, a yellow mustang. We stopped at my house and I ran upstairs and threw my papers and books on my bed, and quickly left the house not bothering to leave my mother a note as she wouldn't have noticed anyway. We then headed to Crystal's house. No one was there except for us, and I quickly followed her upstairs to her room. Thus begin an almost daily tradition that lasted all the way through high school. We would drop my stuff off at my house then run up to her room, and shoot up with the heroin that Crystal would seem to always have. Shortly after we graduated from high school I and Crystal got tested. We both had AIDS. We decided that we would both move to NYC together one day. So we opened a savings account together and begin working to save up so we could live her. We were so close to moving here and we were about to move here except that Crystal started getting sicker and sicker. When she died, part of me died with her. SO I took all of our money and moved her. Because I knew that was what Crystal would want me to do. "

With this Sam lay down on her side, curled up and begins to sob. Mark pulls the blankets over Sam's shaking and shivering body. He then rubbed her back not knowing quite else what to do. "I'm sorry Sam; I wish I could help you with the pain. I know it's hard, I've been going through a lot of pain myself dealing with friends who have died because of AIDS, but I'll try to help you as much as I can. Plus, now you have a whole group of friends there for you now, and not just one."

Sam slowly nods then crawls out of the bed and into Mark's arms. She sobs some more and Mark shifts her around so his arms don't fall asleep. She soon buries her head into Mark's chest sobbing softly. Mark then carries her into room, so that he can sit on the couch with her. She falls asleep soon after, but Mark still holds on to her and drifts asleep himself. He wakes up about an hour later to the bohemians coming in the door. "Aw how cute." Collins says. "Hey guys." Mark says as he sits up. "How is Mimi doing?" Mark asks as he looks at Roger who seems worn out. Roger shrugs. "The doctor says she'll get better, but I'm still worried. I'm going back in the morning." With that Roger disappears into his room. "How is Roger doing?" Mark says with a look of concern for his friend. "He'll be fine once Mimi is fine, and there is no telling how long that will take. " Collins answers. Maureen and Joanne then slip off into Maureen's old room. "How is Sam?" Collins asks seeing that the girl on Mark's lap was slightly shivering. "She'll be okay. She just has scars that need healing. She seems cold though. Do you mind grabbing a blanket?" Mark answers. And Collins disappears and comes back with a few blankets. He wraps them around Mark and Sam and then heads to his own room to sleep. Mark soon falls back into a deep sleep as well.


	27. A Broken Girl With A Broken Heart

**A/N: I don't own Rent. I hope you enjoy this chapter. SOrry it takes me a little while to get it up on here. Enjoy and please leave reviews. Thanks :)**

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Mark wakes up sometime later, he feels a chill in the room, and notices Sam isn't on the couch anymore. He glances around quickly trying to find the source of the sudden coldness in the air. He finds it and Sam at the same time. It is coming from the balcony where the doors are wide open and Sam has one foot on the railing all wrapped up in blankets, looking down. Mark can see a tear on her cheek glistening in the lights from the street lamps. The cold didn't take long to reach the rest of the loft and soon everyone was up soon, as well. Mark had slowly begun to make his way across the room to the balcony.

"Sam" Mark whispered

Sam turned her head her blue eyes were filled with tears, and Mark could see by looking into her eyes that she was scared and sad.

"I miss her so much." Sam said as her body crumpled to the floor of the balcony, and she begins to burst into tears.

Mark reaches her first, and kneels next to where she is sobbing. "I know you do. Shhhh! It's okay." He said as he pulled Sam's tiny frame into his arms. Collins soon stepped out onto the balcony as well with the others watching from inside. Collins gently picks up Sam from Mark's arms and heads with her inside as Mark stands up himself. As soon as Mark is in he shuts the balcony door to get rid of the cold night air that was blasting through.

Collins was holding Sam tightly and was beginning to sit on the table that Mimi had almost died on that same night.

"It's okay baby girl." Collins was softly telling her while rubbing her back gently. Mark sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Roger came over to him and without a word sat down next to the film maker and placed a hand on Mark's shoulder.

"I miss her so much", came a whispered response from Sam as if that was the only thing she could say. "I know you do, just like I miss my Angel. But now you have more friends to help you and protect you and not just one. Your friend will always be in your heart, but now you have more people who care to share the space." Sam was nodding to the words that Collins was speaking. "Where's Mark?" She asked softly. At first she had said it so softly no one knew what she had said. "What did you say?" Collins asked her while brushing back her hair with his fingers. "Where's Mark?" She said again a little louder. Mark quickly got off the couch and stood next to where Collins and Sam sat on the table. "I'm right here." He said as he wiped away a few of her tears. Sam was cradled in Collins' arms and had her head on his chest. "I'm sorry." She said turning to look into Mark's sky blue eyes. "Shhh! It's okay." Mark said as he squatted slightly. His face inches from hers. "You're okay. We've got you, and aren't going to let you do anything you'll regret." Sam nodded tears beginning to flow. She then fell into Mark's arms in one fell swoop that Mark barely had a good grip on her. She curled herself into a ball in his arms. In Mark's arms she was just a big shaking ball because of how much and hard she was sobbing.

Mark just held on tight to her, and trying to comfort her as much as possible. Roger got an idea to play Mark's film for her, hoping that might help her. The film was still on the projector where it had been left from earlier in the evening. Roger walked over to the projector and flipped the switches all on. The film soon started over from the beginning as Mark had already rewound the projector. Soon all the bohemians were on the floor next to Mark and Sam singing with Mark's film. _There is no future. There is no past. I live this moment as my last. _They sung the song til the film was finished. Mark still had Sam in his arms but she was sitting up now and had her head lying on his chest. Her eyes were wet from crying, but she was no longer sobbing or crying. Mark was slowly petting her hair. Soon the other bohemians slowly drifted to bed except for Roger and Collins. Mark had Sam slowly stand up so he could stretch his legs and they could go to sleep in Collins old room. Roger had walked over to them while Mark tried to get his legs to work right. "You okay now?" He said as he brushed back a stray piece of hair from her face and tucked it behind Sam's ear. She slowly nodded and by that time Mark had brought the feeling back to his legs. "If you need something, ever and Mark isn't around know that me and Collins and the others can help you." Sam just nodded and Roger wrapped her in his arms in a friendly hug. "Are you ready to go to bed?" Mark asked Sam as he put out his hand for her to grab. She nodded and slowly grabbed his hand. The two made their way back to where Sam was staying in Collins' bed and Mark on the cot. Mark tucked her in underneath the pile of blankets, shut the door of the room, then collapsed underneath his own bed.


	28. To Write Love On Her Arms

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**I don't own Rent. I also don't own the song that I used. It's called Love is The Movement by Switchfoot. It's an awesome song. I also don't own To Write Love on Her Arms. But I do support it and think its an awesome organization and I think you should check it out. **

**The only thing I own in this story is Sam and Cass. And Guess What. I'm Cass LOL :)  
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Roger and Collins had watched the quiet exchange between Sam and Mark. After the door of Collin's old room closed, Roger began to make some coffee. "Do you want some?" He asked Collins who was starting to sit down on the couch. "Sure, so why aren't you going to bed?" Collins asked as he watched Roger start the coffee pot up. Roger shrugged slightly. "I couldn't sleep anyway; I was up thinking about how scared Mimi probably is. Why aren't you returning to bed?" Roger said with a sad look in his eyes, for he knew why. He knew that Collins was having problems sleeping and had been since Angel's death at Halloween. He knew that was why Collins usually drank himself to sleep, but it was an unspoken thing. "I can't sleep." Collins said leaving it at that. "I hope Mimi gets better soon." Collins said after a few minutes of silence. "I feel bad that I was in such grief when Angel passed that I didn't take care of Mimi like I said I would. I feel like part of the reason that she is in the hospital is me." Roger brought the two mugs over to the couch. "It's not your fault. I put my own grief above all else. And now I might lose Mimi because of it." Roger said as he handed Collins one mug and set the other on the table and sat down and put his hands in his head. "She'll make it. It's Mimi. She won't leave til you're ready. I'm worried about Sam. Her heart is so broken; it will take a lot to put her together again. "Collins said as he looked toward the door that held Sam and Mark inside. "Mark will help her. It's his nature. I just hope we can help her too. She has so much pain to deal with. "Roger said.

Collins nodded before speaking softly "I hope we can find a way to heal her broken heart before she does something to drastic." He then got up and went outside to the balcony and began to smoke a cigarette. Roger followed him shutting the balcony door behind them so the rest of the loft wouldn't get cold. "Can I get one of those?" He asked and Collins handed him one with a lighter. The two friends sat on the balcony in silence til some music floated up from the street that caught their attention.

_Love is the movement  
Love is a revolution  
This is redemption  
We don't have to slow back down_

_The stars are alive  
They dance to the music  
And all of the world  
Is singing in time  
As the heavens are caving in  
Mysterious ways  
Why God gave his life  
To put motion inside my soul_.

The two friends looked at each other. They had found their solution. They looked down at the street where they saw a girl who looked like she was in her mid 20s. She had a neon green boom box that she was carrying around. She was one of the strangest people they had ever seen. She had on neon green shoes with purple laces, black jeans that were slightly rolled up to show her neon orange socks that she was wearing, a black tshirt with a silver vest over it. She also had a black ski hat on her head. They then watched as she set the boom box down and restarted the song. They watched as she danced and sang with it. Til Collins decided to ask her what song she was singing. "Hey down there. "

The girl looked up. "Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you guys."

"Believe me you didn't. We were up already and heard the song you were playing." Collins responded

"Oh ok. Do you want to know what song it is?" She asked her auburn hair shining in the street lights.

"Please, we think it could help us help a friend of ours." Collins said

"It's called Love is the Movement. It's by Switchfoot. They did it for the Organization called To Write Love On Her Arms. See that is what is on my tshirt." The girl then backed up and showed the words on her shirt.

"What is that?" Roger asked

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

"Wow that's cool." Roger said.

"Do you have a copy of the Switchfoot song?" Collins asked

"Yea! Actually I have a whole cd of all kinds of songs. Do you want one?" the girl asked.

"Sure! Here's the key. We are all the way on the top right before the roof." Roger said as he tossed the key down to the newcomer. The girl missed but quickly picked the keys up. She then picked up her boom box and headed up to the loft. Collins and Roger had the door open and was waiting for her so as not to disturb the rest of the loft's occupants. "I'm Collins and this is Roger." Collins said introducing himself to the girl. "I'm Cassandra but you guys can call me Cassie or Cass. Whatever works for you." She said as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her ocean blue eyes sparkled with curiosity. "Man this place looks cool. How many people live here?" She asked as she looked around the loft.

"It depends on the week. Sometimes everyone is here, and other times its just two people." Collins said

"Right now is one of the times when the loft is full of people." Roger said.

"Cool. This makes my place seem super small, but it does me." Cass said

"Where do you live?" Collins asked

"Over on Avenue C, been there a couple of weeks. I love living in Alphabet City. It's so bohemian." Cass said taking a seat on the couch. "I'm guess that you guys are artist too?"

"Yea I play a guitar and was in a band. Mark, is a filmmaker, Maureen is a performing artist." Roger said

"So you can say we are a pretty diversified group of artist." Collins said.

"So what's up with this friend? Are they staying here?"

"Yea, she's gotten close to Mark, but is hurting and healing from a broken heart and has been through so much. We are trying to teach her about No Day But Today and giving into love but for some reason we can't always reach her. We were just thinking of trying a new way to help her see what we are talking about but hadn't come up with anything yet." Roger said hanging his head a little low.

"But then you came along. And the words to the song you played are perfect." Collins

"Then its what I'm suppose to do. And maybe coming from a female that has her own interesting and twisted story I can help. But I'm going to need to crash here in order to help. That is if you guys don't mind." Cass said as she started to stare at her feet.

"Sure, it's no problem. We always seem to have room, and if you can help Sam then you are more than welcome to crash here." Roger said

"Here you can sleep in my room." Collins said as he pointed Cass to Mark's old room.

"Thanks, I hope I can help your friend." Cass said as she disappeared into the room.

"So do I" Collins said in a whisper.


	29. Our Only Hope Lies in the

**I don't own Rent. Hope you enjoy my story. If not thats cool too. Please review.**

**Also sorry this one is shorter than the last 2 chapters, maybe the next one will be longer.**

**So here we go...  
**

**Our Only Hope Lies in the Brightly Colored Cook**

* * *

About an hour later it is 4am….

Collins gets up and starts to put on his jacket. Roger looks up from his guitar that he was softly playing. "Where are you going?"

"To see Angel, you want to come?" He asks with his hand on the door.

"Sure. Let me just leave a note to Mark, just in case he finds Cass and wonders where we are. "Roger said as he quickly scribbled out a note and grabbed his key which was sitting on the table. As he grabbed his leather coat he spoke again. "Alright let's go."

The two friends walked in silence to the graveyard. As they got to Angel's grave the sun begin to rise causing the snow around them to glisten. It truly was a beautiful scene.

It became apparent to Roger that Angel had been visited by Collins and someone else, (probably Mimi) as there were two different kinds of flowers sitting at the grave. One was white roses, and the other was red carnations. Roger stood back and watched as Collins approached the grave.

"Hey baby. Sorry I didn't bring you any more roses. I know that you love them, but I'll bring you some when I visit next time. I just want to say thanks. Thanks for watching over us and sending Mimi back. Thanks for helping Mark and me find Sam. And Thanks for sending Cass to possibly help all of us. I know that me and Roger have only known Cass for about an hour but something tells me that you sent her to us. I think you would like her. She seems spunky. But I just wanted to say thanks. And that I love you and miss you so much." With this Collins put his fingers to his lips and then set them on top of smooth cold grave marker. Roger then walked up and put a comforting hand on Collins' shoulder. Collins turned and smiled at Roger. "Thanks."

With that the two headed out stopping at a small café for some breakfast pastries for the rest of the loft. Then they headed back to the loft. By the time they got back everyone was up and about except for Sam and Cass.

"Hey guys, we brought breakfast back." Collins said as they entered the loft.

"How is Sam?" Roger asked Mark as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"She is doing okay. She actually slept last night and is sleeping now. I just hope we can help her." Mark said as he put his elbows on the counter and placed his head in his hands.

"Maybe this Cass will be able to help" Maureen said with a twinge of jealousy in her voice.

"It's a possibility. She seems to have some sort of insight to this sort of thing that we don't even have." Collins said as he slowly sipped his coffee.

The group sat in silence for a little bit until they heard Mark's door open, out came Cass wearing the same outfit as earlier, just with out the shoes and the pants rolled down.

"Everyone this is Cass." Collins said.

Cass made a small little wave. "Hi I'm Cass."

"Hey you never told us what you do for a living? Do you do anything for a living?" Roger asked

"Yea cook at a local café. I usually work late though which is why I passed your loft early this morning. I was headed home." Cass said as she shoved a raspberry pastry in her mouth.

"Wow that's so cool" Maureen exclaimed.

"So what are all your names?" Cass asked with a slight tilt of her head

Quickly Roger pointed to everyone while saying their names. "Maureen, Joanne, Collins, and Mark."

Mark had been staring down at the counter not paying attention to the newcomer as his mind was on Sam who was still sleeping, but when Roger said his name he looked up and into the sparkling blue eyes of Cass.

"Hi I'm Mark. You must be Cass. I hope you can help our friend Sam, and maybe bring some light back into her heart and eyes."

Cass smiled a little bigger when Mark looked up. "I hope so. It will take some work, but will be worth it once she has that light back believe me I know." Cass then looked around a little bit. "Where is Sam?"

Mark nodded his head towards Collins' door. "She is still sleeping."

Cass nodded "Ok, well I'll come back then. I'm going to head over to my apartment and get a shower and get the stuff I need to help Sam." Cass smiled then disappeared into Mark's room to put back on her shoes and her bright green boom box.

"Well it was nice meeting all of you. I'll see you guys later." Cass said with a smile and with that she was gone.

"Wow." Mark said with a goofy smile on his face.

"I know right, I think Angel sent her." Collins said.

"Well I'm going to go take a nap; I'm still wiped from last night. Wake me up when Cass comes back?" Mark said as he begins to disappear into Collins' old room.

"I've got to go back to the hospital to see Mimi." Roger said as he slid on his leather coat.

So with that the others just chilled out in the loft waiting for Cass to come back.


	30. A Private Moment

**HEY LOYAL READERS:**

**I don't own Rent. Sorry this is a short chapter its just a small one to let you know Mimi is still in the picture and I'm not killing her off.**

**I do have a beta reader now: **TwilighterRenthead. So I'm happy for that.

Please review. Or not. It's up to you. Hope to have the next chapter soon.

* * *

Roger walked down the bright white halls of the hospital to Mimi's room.  
His dark leather coat was a stark contrast to the whiteness of the hospital room.  
Roger slowly pushed open the door and sat down in a chair that was at Mimi's  
bed side. He carefully slid his big hand gently around her tiny one. Mimi's eyes fluttered open. Her large brown irises stared into Roger's  
green ones.  
"Hey babe." He said as he leaned over and kissed her lips  
gently. "How are you feeling?"  
Mimi shifted slightly. "I feel better, and just want to go home to the loft. I'm glad you're back," she said as she looked into his green eyes.  
"Well, you have to stay here just a couple more days then you can come back to the loft." He said as he brushed a stray hair out of Mimi's face.  
"How is everyone else? Mark seemed a little distracted last night? Is doing okay?" Mimi asked with a slight tilt of the head.  
"Yeah, it's a long story, but basically after I, left Mark started working at Buzzline and found a girl named Sam."  
"Aw, that's so great. About time he found a girl." Mimi said with a smile.  
"Yeah, but it's not that simple, Meems. She's going through a lot. She lost a friend to AIDS, and she's a heroin addict. She's so broken. Everyone is trying to help her but; it's a difficult road right now. But we may have a solution."  
With that Roger told Mimi all about Cass, and how she was going to try to help Sam. "I hope she can help Sam." Mimi said with tears in her eyes. Roger wiped away the tears gently. "She has implied that she's been through something similar so she should be able to help Sam." Roger looked at his watch.  
"I better get going. Cass will probably be heading back to the loft soon. I love you, Meems. I'll be back later." Roger said as he gently kissed her lips.  
"Bye Roger. I love you" Mimi said as Roger walked out the door.


End file.
